Face Tomorrow

I could write a blog post every day for the rest of my life using song quotes and likely not run out of material.  I look to music as a form of therapy at times... Be it spiritual music or just songs that give a bit of hope or direction.  In fact, I have a playlist I often listen to filled with non-religious songs that are uplifting or have lines I consider worth quoting... songs that give hope or inspire in some way.  Music is a powerful force in my life.  Not that I always listen.  I take special measure to provide moments of contemplation in silence, without anything playing in the background.  And sometimes I listen to books on tape or a talk or listen to the news on the radio.  Still, I love those moments when there is a message shared with me powerfully through a random lyric that some songwriter wrote along their journey, which, in turn, helps me along my journey.  

So, my next series of blog posts may be all based on this idea.  

This particular post begins where my last post left off.  The decision I was facing was whether to keep a job I'd accepted at a local elementary school in a district, or to keep my job at the charter school. There were quite a few pros to both, and cons to match.  Different potential for future opportunities.  And a lot of personal, emotional reasons to make this decision even more difficult.  

In the end, I decided to stay where I was, and consequently face the rather difficult task of going against my original word and letting the school that had offered me the position know that I was actually not going to sign the contract.  I felt sick to my stomach for a bit.  It wasn't easy.  I suddenly recalled all the reasons I shouldn't or didn't want to stay where I was.  And yet, by then it was certainly too late.  Fortunately, I really did feel best about that decision, and soon after, I felt the peace and comfort in making it.  And part of the peace came when I heard a song and listened to the lyrics a little better than I had in the past, and decided to face tomorrow in high hopes and spirits.  

Yes, the searching is easy. It is the finding that's hard. Just keep looking
and you'll discover, who you are. 

(Realizing here that searching for the answer truly was the easy part... time consuming, but I knew what to do and found blessings all around as I did that.  

Finding and recognizing the final answer was a pretty true trial... yet in the process I discovered a bit more of who I truly am, and I think that was part of why I faced it all in the first place)

Life's too short to second guess, I'll surely make mistakes

I'll just try to do my best, no matter what it takes

Here's hoping this wasn't one of the mistakes I'd surely make! :)... Regardless, I will continue to do my best in this and all other endeavors:

I'll face tomorrow like yesterday. 

Face tomorrow. Come what may

It is a bright prospect to simply face tomorrow, like yesterday (so far all has worked out, right?).  Yep, I'll face tomorrow, come what may ("and love it" -- Joseph B. Wirthlin)

Sam Bush: Face Tomorrow

What makes it worth the struggle

I don't think I could adequately express my gratitude for the profound friendships I have in my life right now.  I feel in literal awe as I reflect on the love and concern that has been shown to me in the past week especially.  Normally that is felt when a loved one dies, or in some other tragic or heartbreaking event.  That is not what has happened.  I am simply working through a decision that is a difficult one for me to make.  Funny thing is, I have everything I need in my life right now.  Literally.  Friends and family who love me, the Gospel, happiness, peace, good opportunities in every aspect of my life,... I could go on for pages.  NOTHING is lacking.  Except an answer to a question I have... A decision that for some reason is one of the most difficult decisions I've ever made.  And as I've pondered so much and prayed so intently the past few days, I've wondered if half the reason I'm going through it all is not just to recognize the arms I have around me.  Because that is exactly what I've witnessed:

*  A friend who called and talked to me on his lunch hour today about this just because he was thinking of me and my decision.
*  Another friend who, completely inspired in my opinion, came over just when I needed him to, unsolicited, and gave me the opportunity to ask him for a blessing on Sunday.
*  Friends who included me in their fasts this past Sunday.
*  Friends who let me know they put my name on the temple prayer roll.
*  Friends who have sent me texts & emails letting me know they're thinking of me
*  Others who have come over or gone hiking with me because they wanted to take time to listen and share their experiences to help me think through things.
*  Coworkers who have prayed for me, even though some are not very religious.
*  My amazing mom who has taken time to talk with me and pray for me and counsel me :)

Really... it comes down to people consistently being there for me.  Taking time out of their busy lives for "little old me" as they say.  The thing is... (and this is what is so amazing to me about this outpouring): what I'm going through... IT'S NOT THAT BIG OF A DEAL. I get that.  It really isn't.  I mean, not to anyone but me, and yet I have literally been moved to tears by how much love I've felt in such a simple thing. They've shown me how to be.  And if that's what all this is about, it has been worth the entire struggle.

Failure leads to Success

I teach my students something called the Eight Keys of Excellence as part of our character education and classroom management.  It includes stating the keys every day as follows, which we recite as we do hand motions for each key:

Values plus behavior equal integrity

Failure leads to success

Speak with good purpose

This is it! (meaning enjoy each moment)

Commitment, commitment, commitment

Ownership

Flexibility

Balance

We had lessons on each key at the beginning of the school-year, and periodically share moments throughout the year of when we’ve seen these keys in action in and out of our classroom. 

Well, one day we did a simulation that I designed.  In the creation of this simulation, I didn’t communicate something effectively, and also redesigned something that didn’t go well at all…  the combination of mistakes resulted in really hurting someone’s enjoyment of the activity.  In fact, he was in tears for a good half hour.  I felt super bad (understatement).  While it wasn’t all my fault, some if it was directly my fault, and I took full responsibility, and it broke my heart.  I was ready to never do the simulation again (a simulation I spent many hours creating).  As I spoke with the students after the simulation, I apologized for the negative aspects and let them know it was my fault that it hadn’t gone more ideally and that I didn't think I would do it again in future years.  One of my students raised his hand and said, “It’s ok, Miss Durrant, failure leads to success.  You can just change it for next year and it will work out,” after which the other students, including the one hurt, responded in agreement. 

Point happily and emotionally taken.  Thanks, students, for getting how these keys work, so readily offering forgiveness for my mistakes, and reminding me to get back up and make it even better rather than simply admitting defeat and letting it get the best of me.